Hello Autumn!

Let it be known - I am not a winter person! In fact there is something so utterly depressing to me about the imminent change in season that the only thing that gets me through winter is knowing that I have a wonderful summer wardrobe to look forward to as I take out the winter clothes from the suit case at the top of my cupboard and hang all the winter clothes and pack all the summer clothes.

Usually I wait as long as possible, denying the presence if the morning chill and pretending that there is still a piece of summer left. This year I am so over denial! Today really IS the first day of autumn! The weather man said so - it is time!

It is also time for us to admit to ourselves that we are going to need more help to get this conception thing right. The comment made by the embryologist while preparing our sample was that these sperm, although much improved, are "IVF sperm". I suppose that was one of the reasons for me not being too surprised when the AI didn’t work. It’s definitely the reason I don’t want to bother with AI again - It felt like wasted time energy, emotion and money at the end of it all.

I have also come to accept that we cannot continue on at Medfem... Thety have moved us in the right direction, found and eliminated the Endometriosis, sorted out the low progesterone levels, and provided quite a stable nurtuting environment in which to undergo all the tests and start wading our way into the infertility waters. As much as I like the place and respect the skill and expertise of the doctors and embryologists there, and I do think that it is a first class facility, and I would stay if we could, but we have just had to face the facts - it’s too expensive for us!

We move to a clinic, BioArt that will do the same treatment for almost half the price, and amongst the online fertility community is widely respected and is achieving really good results.  Lots of positives. I see the new fertility specialist this week. I truly cannot wait - I am more excited about this that I am about my birthday which is round the corner too.

On the miracle side of things, we have had some miraculous financial donations come through specifically for treatment, and some extra bonus money from work which makes an IVF cycle immediately possible.  I am always amazed at how God honours our faithfulness!  At the end on Jan, we were challenged to give a offering, larger than something we would usually consider, to missionary friends of ours living in an eastern Country.  We were challenged and hesitant, but we did it anyway.  God restored that offering to us in abundance - we have not been left out of pocket at all! 

This is not the only example of how he has provided for this IVF cycle.  I strongly believe we need to go through with this.  That this whole weird, sad, frustrating journey is purposeful and I foresee several "ahhaaa" moments in the years to come as I realise how God is using it. (I DO NOT see them yet - this is a faith statement.

So maybe, come spring in September, I won’t be unpacking the summer wardrobe. I won’t be able to because all my size 12 outfits don’t fit, I am in maternity wear!  I really do have a lot to look forward to this winter - bring it on! 

Right - I am off to do the wardrobe swop