(This post was written at the beginning of December, but not posted until January)
Another few months go by, and "the usual" old story, nick named "Aunt Flo" by the infertile community, she is the sign of another wasted cycle and more time slipping through the hour glass.
Last time I blogged hubby was enduring the aforementioned procedure, which I must mention, due to his completely awake state, he said was the worst experience of his life so far. He has had some pretty hairy hospital experiences as a child, so as an adult I think this must have been traumatic for him. I took the whole experience quite lightly, like a dentist appointment, maybe root canal, but to him this was just not the case. It wasnt particularily painful, I think it was pretty frightening though. However he was up and about the next day - we even went to the Coldplay concert.
They (those who have been there) say that it takes 3 months to start seeing the effects of the Op on the swimmers. So we are waiting till Janulary before we do another analysis, but they (the same "they") have also seen positive pregnancy tests after 5 weeks. So now the dilemma, if we have cured the problem and we start to get happy lil well formed swimmers within the next 3 months we have not cured the little hormone problem on my end.
I started taking the Fertomed (Clomid generic) in November, just incase one of the lil guys makes it, I think I gotta make sure I have enough progesterone to hold on. Oh my word! I have pain in my ovaries like never before while I was ovulating - in both ovaries, and the pain lingered for days. The pain just kept me constantly aware of being on fertility treatment and counting where I was in the cycle.
Then Aunt Flo was 4 days late. Oh the Hope that blossomed in my little heart. They (the ladies on the Fertilicare forum) shared thier Clomid experiences with me, all remained on time. Enter the Digital Clear Blue test... "not pregnant". After a weekend of nausea and vomitting, and on the advice of the dietician, (grasping at straws a little maybe), I went for a blood test at Lancet, confirming the Clear Blue test result.
December... We are on a break. A break from diet, a break from no caffiene, a break from counting days and sex because we HAVE to, a break from the unhappy world of ttc. I am so done with this for the year. We'll pick it up in January again, when we finally go and have the analysis that should tell us if we can just expect this to naturally happen, or maybe we have more to work with than last time but still need IVF, or there is no imporvement and ICSI is the way forwad.
In the meantime, the pregnanacy announcements from people close to us abound. One, who is pregnant with her second, and we found out she was pregnant with her first just as we started trying. A reminder of the passage of time this process has been. Its bitter sweet, trying to be genuinely happy for them, while dealing with the dissappointment that being left behind brings.
