10 Week Ultrasound Scan

Oh my word!  What an amazing experience.

3 weeks ago the only movement that could be detected was the furiously pumping heart.  A big freaky yolk sack and Neural tube were only just visible in the blizzard of ultrasound fuzzyness.

Today Baby looked like a baby, not a bean.  He/She was moving his arms and legs and swimming around in the gestational sac filled with amniotic fluid.  To see Baby move was just an increadable moment for Hubby and I.

The picture print outs just do do the increadableness of a scan justice. Clever Hub took this video, and you can clearly see the heart beating and Baby waving hands and feet around.  No more sign of the freaky yolk sac at all.

How cool is this video?

Its Official! We are pregnant

I am sorry to have kept so quiet over the last 5 weeks. 

On a very emotionally charged Monday,  waiting 7 hours after having my blood drawn, and not really getting much joy from the clinic, we finally got the news of a positive Beta test.  Our first beta was 76, and 2 days later it had jumped to 275, with a doubling time of 38.8hrs. A doubling time under 24 hours would have put is in the running to have twins. Anything from about 35 - 48 hours is indication a healthy singleton.   We decided not to go public, but to wait to tell people once we had seen a heart beat.

The pregnancy really came alive for us the day we saw, and heard the little heart beat. Just one, and we were overjoyed! (remember my trepidation when we put 3 embies back?) We did a little dance of joy in the doctors office once he had left. Hubby is excited about my nausea, and doesnt mind bringing me things to make it better (Banana's, Yohurt, or warm melted cheese and mayo Sandwiches).

A week or so on from that now and I have finally found the time to put up some photos and update the world.

These are all the needles and syringes that it took to get us to this point, strewn accross the bottom of our bed..  Hubby injected Menopur every 2nd day for 3 months all together, and then there is the needles from my injections during the Long Protocol IVF.

Thats about 45 needles for hubby and it was exactly 31 for me.  Eish!

These are the 3 embryo's that we put back. Bottom left - 2 Grade 1 (Best) 8 cell embyos,
Top Right - 1 Gr2 (a little bit of fragmentation) 8 cell embie.  You can see the fuzzy cell junk in the bottom of the embie.  Thats the fragmentation.  Its like bits of cell that get left behind everytime it divided. 

I cant believe that one of these is our baby.  Who knows which one... We also have 3 frozen for next time. There is definitely a Frozen embryo transfer (FET) in our future one day.   Its weird to think that our babies could be concieved on the same day, but born years apart.

This is the first pic of our little miracle, the ultra sound was done on 7w3d but the CRL shows 6w5d. Expected due date is 1 Feb 2013.

And the heart beat was 148 bpm, which is a good strong heart beat for its size.

8dp3dt

I have not bought one, I wil not buy one... I won't I won't I won't.... but I WANT to!

6dp3dt

6 days past 3 day transfer.

Yeah yeah, I feel twingy, and my boobs are a lil more sensitive but I am not getting all paranoid or excited about it.  I am just concentrating on what could be / should be happening inside my body right now. Drinking lots of water, and still eating as healthy as possible, although I will admit to having an easter egg each day (I couldnt have them over easter). And praying.  This prayer over and over....

Lord Jesus, Please make my body kind to the embies! Let them be happy and healthy in there!

And there is nothing more I can do...

2ww - What is going on inside my body?

2 week wait defined by babies devlopment and not my crazy symptoms....

• 1dp3dt- The cells continue dividing and become a morula.
• 2dp3dt- The morula continue to develop into a blastocyst.
• 3dp3dt - The blast begins to hatch out of its shell.
• 4dp3dt - The blastocyst begins to attatch itself to the uterine lining.
• 5dp3dt - The blast continues to implant into the uterus.
• 6dp3dt - Implantation continues.  You may experience some implantation bleeding at this point, but do not be concerned if you do not.  Remember to always call your doctor when experiencing spotting.
• 7dp3dt - Implantation is completed at this point, but you should not expect to get a positive pregnancy test for a few more days. 
• 8dp3dt - HCG is beginning to enter the bloodstream. 
• 9dp3dt - HCG levels are continuing to rise and should be doubling about every two days (doubling up to every three days is “normal”). 
• 10dp3dt - Your hormone levels are rising but you should not be concerned about a lack of pregnancy symptoms.  Most women do not experience symptoms until around 6 weeks pregnant. 
• 11dp3dt - You should be able to detect a pregnancy through a hpt at this point.  If not, do not give up until you have a blood test.  Beta blood test are the most accurate.

Embryo Transfer

Day 19 IVF Cycle - 0dp3dt

Today was Embryo Transfer.

It’s been an exciting few days in between Aspiration Day and today.

On Day 17 we found out that 11 of the 16 eggs had fertilised, that’s a fertilisation rate of 68%, above average.  My mother in law starts referring to them as her grandembies.

On Day 18 we found out that 9 of the 11 fertilised Embryos were on Grade 1 or 2 and that Embryo Transfer would be the following day. I am very excited. This makes it a 3 day transfer (3dt).

So now the million dollar question is - how many embryos to put back?

BioArt are usually keen on transferring 3.  The majority of the research I am doing is pointing me to an article in the Lancet Journal, Jan 2012.  Indicating that more than 2 embryos do not increase the chances of a live birth.  I resolved yesterday to only put 2 back.

I want to be pregnant. We want Children, 2 or 3, but not 3 all at the same time.  We are quite comfortable with the thought of having twins - I have wanted twins since I was able to consider how many kids I would like to have in the one day realm.  My Brother and Sister in Law have twins, and they make it look just dreamy.  And we love those kids!

I am absolutely freaked out at the thought of having triplets though!  Not just the hard work factor, but the financial stresses and the medical risks involved in a trip-pregnancy, both for mother and babies.  No, trips are really not something I want.  Hubs question is "So if the choice was between not being pregnant and having triplets which would you want."   Argh! Tough one!

I wonder if I would be disappointed deep down if we put 2 back and only got 1 live baby. Maybe I would wish I had put 3 back to increase my chances of having 2.

10 am we arrive at the clinic. I immediately get sent back down the road to the hospital next door for a Progesterone blood test.  Back at the clinic and I am rewarded with 2 white tablets, Buscopan for stomach cramps and Dormicum, a sedative.  Nice one!

I chat to the lady waiting next to me. She was aspirated on the same day as me - we were in the recovery room together.  This is her third transfer, and she has yet to have success.  The first one, fresh cycle, she put 2 back.  The second cycle, frozen embies from the first, she put 3 back, and now, she has just finished a fresh cycle again and she is putting 4 back. I start to rethink my resolution to only put 2 in.

I get taken into Aspiration room number 2 - a different room to Aspiration day.  Smaller. Hotter.  It’s a long time, almost 45 minutes before the Doctor comes in.  Lucky for me I have the Dormicum to keep me calm and chilled.

I have a list of questions for the Doctor, who is also not my usual Doctor, which irritates me a bit.  But actually this guy seems a bit more interested and less "cool".  I have a list of questions for him.

1.  Were all 16 eggs mature?  Yes, all of them were mature; he shows me the embryologists report from aspiration day.

2.  What was the quality of the eggs?  They can’t know that, they can only know that once fertilisation takes place.

3.  What was the quality of the sperm sample?  They did not do a sperm assessment, if we wanted one we should have asked, and there are no notes on the sperm

4.  Did they ICSI all 16 or did they IVF half of them?  They ICSI’d all of them, probably indicating the sperm quality wasn’t great.

5.  What is the status of the Embryos today?
 3x Grade 1 (Best Quality, perfect structure no fragmentation)
 1x 8 Cells
 1x 7 Cells
 1x 6 Cells

3x Grade 2 ( Fragmentation < 20%)
 1x 8 Cells
 1x 7 Cells
 1x 6 Cells

3x Grade 3 (Fragmentation > 20%)
Unusable

Okay so we now have 6 usable embryos.

6.  Can we get a picture of our embryos please?  A picture is passed through the pass through window into the lab.

7.  When do I do Intralipid 2 and 3? Intralipid 2 is 1 week after aspiration day, and Intralipid 3 is on the day of your positive pregnancy test.

8.  What happens to the left over embryos?  They will be frozen so that you can use them if you need to. They will freeze all 6 because they have more chance of surviving the more that are frozen all together.

9. I really really don’t want triplets - how many embryos should we put back?
2 if trips are absolutely out of the question. But we recommend putting 3 back; your chance of having triplets is only 5%.  20% for twins and 45% for a single live baby. (At this point I was in information overload, so I could be misquoting the percentages, but I am sure about the 5% for trips, and Hub remembers the 45% for a single pregnancy).

He said that if you put back 2 embryos you have a 35% chance of being pregnant, and 1 embryo is 25%.  So basically the likelihood of having a pregnancy improves by 10% per embryo you put back.

We decide on putting 3 embryos back. My favourite nurse is in the room, and she nods at me, as if to reassure me that this is a good decision.  The embryologist has already prepped the 3 in one dish.  She clearly knows the drill.

We are putting back the Gr1 8 cell and 7 cell embryos and the Gr2 8 cell embryo.  The Embryologist is worried about the Gr1 6 cell being too underdeveloped for transfer. I wholeheartedly agree with her.

Back into my favourite stirrups.  The doctor involves me in the process - he can see that I am interested. He uses those Vagina Clamp thingys and then inserts the long catheter containing our embabies which is passed through from the lab straight into the room.  My favourite nurse positions the ultrasound scan to make sure that the catheter has reached near the top of the uterus, and points it out to me on the screen.  She is saying what a nice shape my uterus is and that my ovaries are looking all swollen, as if they are in torsion, from the IVF stimulants, they of course are not in torsion; it’s just how they look.

The doctor hands back the apparatus to the embryologist who checks to see that no embies have been left behind. "Clear" she says.  All 3 Embabies are aboard the Mother ship!

I lie there for 20 minutes and then go find Hubby who has brought the car around to the front entrance.  He opens the back door for me and I ride home lying on the back seat, sleepy from the Dormicum.

 

Aspiration Day

Day 16

The alarm wakes me up, Hubdub offers me tea, but I can’t have any.  We pray that today we would get a good number of eggs, that we would never have to stim again, and that God would guide the doctor and give him wisdom to affect the positive result of the cycle.  We ask that Lords will be done in all of this.

We set off early for BioArt and arrive too early.  The nurses haven’t even arrived yet, and we stand outside with a few other people waiting for them.  Just after 7 am my favourite nurse arrives to open up.  YAY!

She gets the doors unlocked and then makes me sit down and sign a consent form and send Hubby down the passage to make his contribution.  I am fist on the list so I don’t sit in the waiting area long before they guide me into the aspiration room.

Stirrups.... I don’t think I have ever seen one of those in real life - this is going to be a first.  I strip off the bottom half of what I am wearing and climb onto the bed, keeping my socks on - the info pamphlet that I was given said to take off nail polish, and I didn’t do a good job taking off the almost black nail polish I was wearing.  It looks like my toes are dirty.  My favourite nurse helps me into the right position and straps in my legs.  Then she administers the sedatives via IV... Dormicum and Pethadine.  It starts stinging almost immediately. We pull out the drip and try again on the other arm.  Oh how lovely, I start to feel "drifty" quickly.

The doctor makes an appearance.  He is such a cool cucumber.  Gloves on, and starts attaching the long needle thing to the Internal scanner attachment and also to the vacuum tube,  I am vaguely aware of the first prick as the needle pierces the vagina wall, and then I am asleep.

I thought I would put a diagram in for you - It’s hard to conceptualise how this happens, but basically the needle is connected to a vacuum tube, and each of the follicles that has developed is pierced and whatever is in there sucked into the tube and eventually into a test tube. This whole process for me took about 20 minutes.

 I am woken up by the nurse putting my clothes back on me.  I try to be helpful.  And then she walks me to the recovery room where I lay on a bed.  She plugs in my Intralipid IV, except that the IV needle that was used for the pethadine has slipped so it makes a bump on my arm and we have to switch again, this time to my hand. and I doze happily on and off for about an hour while the Intralipids work their way in to my body.

Disconnected from the IV's and more awake now, another nurse comes in to tell us that we can go home.  I ask her to find out how many eggs we got.  She comes back and tells us we got 16!!!!  I was thinking we would get 12. 16 are awesome! Some of my research has shown that you are more likely to have a positive outcome in an IVF cycle if you have between 15 and 20 eggs retrieved.

DH has also produced an exceptional sample, with a good volume.  Let’s hope the swimmers are the best they could be.  If his sample is good, i.e. if the motility and morphology is not too bad, they will ICSI only half and IVF the rest.

Home by 10:30 am.  On the way home I send a delirious text message to our family, cell group, close friends who know what’s going on and my boss. Bragging about my great haul of eggs.  The discomfort I was feeling from about day 10 was all worth it!

Sleep and more sleep. The drugs are starting to wear off and I am feeling pretty uncomfortable.  I thought I would be back at work tomorrow, but the Dr has given me a sick note for 2 days and the way I feel I am going to need it.

My Sister arrives with 2 dozen cupcakes.  She is excited.  I eat my first cupcake in over a month.  The strict eating regimen I have been on to improve egg quality and numbers has paid off.  I intend to celebrate with a red velvet cupcake.

In the evening I am feeling really uncomfortable. I am really hoping this isnt the beginning of OHSS.  I keep lifting up my top and checking for bloating.  Going to the toilet, for either function, is really really painful.  Kind of the same pain I had after my Laparoscopy.

We watch the first episode of Survivor Season 20 Heroes vs. Villains, and go to bed.  There is no way I will be going to work tomorrow.

Day 13, 14, 15 IVF Cycle

Day 13 IVF Cycle

We went for our last scan on Friday.  The Dr was stuck in theatre, and so we actually never saw him.  One of the more experienced nurses came through and did the scan for me.  It looks like I have more than 12 follicles and the leading follicle is 18mm, and lining at 7.7mm.

All is progressing well and Egg Retrieval, or aspiration, will definitely be on Monday.

Because of the number of eggs and the feeling of heavy fullness I have in my ovaries they sent me across the way to the Lancet Lab in the hospital for an Urgent E2 blood test.  This measures the amount of Oestrogen and if too high can be an indicator of Ovarian Hyper stimulation which can lead to Ovarian Hyper stimulation Syndrome (OHSS).  This is a painful experience, and in severe cases can lead to hospitalisation.

Basically, because the ovaries have produced so many eggs, the follicles, once they burst, leak fluid into the abdominal cavity.  This fluid build-up causes the pain. In severe cases a patient needs to be hospitalised to drain the fluid.

My neck spasm is getting worse and my physio is off sick.  She told me that I could make an appointment for Saturday, but she won’t be working that either according to the receptionist.  Bummer.  I need to find another one.  My Colleague sends me to hers, just up the road form Sandton Medi Clinic.  I go.

It’s amazing how every physio has a different way and a different touch.  I am qualified to make this observation I have seen more than enough of them in my time.

My E2 levels came back at 12 140, which seemed high to me - I have no reference point whatsoever.  I moaned about it on the forum and another lady told me that hers were 17 000 and her doc wasn’t phased.  That put me at ease a bit

We have friends staying with us for the weekend, but luckily they were at a wedding on the Friday night, so I could just drag my weary carcass some and to early bed.

Day 14

Planning on just spending the morning relaxing at home.  I get a call from the Clinic at about 10 am to tell me to go and have a follow up blood test.  I decide to go down the road to the local Healthworks which has a Lancet testing station.  My friends and I head off to Cresta. 

Once my test is done we proceed to shop for 3 pairs of men’s shoes, from one end of the centre to the other.  My dietician would be so proud - I am getting my 90 minutes of exercise today, even if it is only walking. 

My neck is worse than yesterday.  At the prospect of only being able to see another Physio on Monday I decide to use the voucher that I was given for Life Day Spa in Fourways.

Oh my word what a luxurious place.  Just like the American day spas you see in the movies.  You het assigned a locker with a towel and a robe and slippers. I lounged with my husband in the heated pool. (just on body temperature - no chance of ricking the swimmers), and then we both went for Hot Stone Therapy Massages, One hour of full body bliss. So good. I then enjoyed the Sauna and the Swiss shower before having a real shower and getting back to Hub who was not allowed to enjoy the sauna or the steam room, and just patiently waited for me.

Neck is keeling a bit better now. 

I get a call from the nurse from the clinic to ask for my ID no.  The doctor wants to see my blood results before I trigger tonight. (the trigger is the injection that causes the eggs to be released from the ovaries - in my case readies them to be collected from the ovaries.)

I am supposed to trigger at 11pm.  She calls at 8:30pm to tell me the level has risen to 13 000 but not to worry I can trigger anyway.  I have a million questions but it’s a bad line, and she just wants to get off the phone.  I am getting the sense that this clinic is not big on giving unnecessary details.  I am on a need to know basis. 

We finish an evening of Munchkin and Banannagrams with our dear friends staying with us.  It’s so good just to relax and spend time together, fighting monsters and stabbing one another in the back.  It’s great to have good bananagrams competition too!

I trigger at 11:07 and we go to sleep.

Day 15

At church I can’t hold it together.  We learned a new song at church and the words smashed down all my defences and make me howl.

Never Once - Matt Redman

Standing on this mountaintop
looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

'Cause this is exactly how I am feeling.  This Journey has sucked, and left emotional scars and bruises, even on my relationship with God.  But we are here now, we have reached a mountain top in out treatment.  today is my injection free day.  I have triggered.  There is nothing more I can do.  I have done everyhing I could.  I have eaten right.  I have drunk the right amount of liquids, I have exercised as much as my schedule will allow.  All I can do is rely on God and his faithfulness.

After the service some of the Elders, the Pastor and our cell group and people who have supported us prayed for us, and anointed me with oil. We are praying for a good number of eggs to be retrieved.  For a great fertilisation report, for healthy embryos to put back, and for a positive outcome - a pregnancy.  We are also praying that I don’t develop OHSS along the way.

We go home to say good bye to our friends that have been staying with us.  More tears and prayer.  My friend is a pastor - he thinks this baby has been so difficult to conceive because of the massive call on his (yes he thinks it’s a boy) life.  That’s pretty biblical, because each of the women that struggled with infertility in the bible had an incredibly significant child

Sarah - Isaac, the father of Jacob, renamed Israel by God, who fathered 12 sons which went on to define the tribes of Israel
Rachel - the mother of Joseph and Benjamin.  Joseph went on to become an Egyptian official who was able to save his family from famine
Hannah - Samuel the prophet who anointed Saul and David as King of Israel
Elizabeth - John the Baptist, cleared the way and prepared hearts for Jesus the Son of God, and baptised Jesus

That’s an impressive list of infertile mammas that gave birth to sons with serious destiny.  But in all of these guys the timing was everything.  If they had been born any earlier they would not have been perfectly positioned in time for what they did.

We head off to my parents place for an early mother’s day lunch - my Mom and Sister are heading to Europe on Thursday.  After lunch we all sit round and they present me with cards and a Nomination bracelet charm with a Pink pram on it.  So thoughtful.  More prayer from the family. Shew.  I feel some pressure to get this right.  My sister in particular is also very emotional, and really really keen to be an aunty.

Home, rest.  I read, Hub works.  We end off an emotionally charged day with 2 episodes of NYPD Blues - all the way out of 1994.

Tomorrow is Aspiration day.

Day 10 IVF Cycle

We popped in to BioArt for out day 10 scan, which should have been yesterday, but because of the Workers Day holiday was this morning.

BioArt was much quieter than my first experience today.  We hardly waited at all to see Dr Cassim. In and out within half an hour.

The scan showed 6 follicles on my right ovary and 7 on my left with the lead follicle (the biggest one) being 15mm in size.  I was so happy to see so many big black blobs on the screen. Its an indication we have been doing everything correctly.  The Endometrium lining measured 7.5mm.

Dr seemed happy with the progress and we just continue on the same trajectory with the same injections  until our next scan which is on Friday.

He is expecting that Egg Retireval will be on Monday, but I think it will be on Sunday, we will only know on Friday.

We are praying for between 10 and 15 eggs, so 13 follicles means we could still get 10 eggs.  (Remember the follicles dont always have eggs in them).

My body is aching, my neck is in spasm, my butt hurts from the menonace injections and my ovaries feel like they are trying to climb out of my body with twinges all the time. I am feeling emotionally and mentally frazzled, but spiritually very alive. Very hopeful that we are going to get a positive on this cycle.

Reflexology + Faith + Me

This blog post is going to be controversial – and not everyone is going to appreciate it.  That’s ok.  I am sharing my research, not trying to offend people, but if I do, I apologise in advance.  All I can say is sometimes the Truth is not the answer we wanted to hear… It wasn’t for me.

Faith + Me

Let me tell you about what I believe – I believe in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I believe in heaven and hell. I believe that we will go to one or the other when we die.  I believe that Jesus died on a cross, a cruel and painful death.  He was a sacrifice that God gave to save us from going to hell. I believe that Jesus rose from the dead. I believe that God has power over sin and death and sickness and that he does heal.  I believe that God does speak to Christians today through other Christians and through his bible. I believe we can pray to God and that he does hear us and does answer us one way or another.

Just before the IVF cycle started I went to see a reflexologist for a few sessions.  I did this because I had seen a lot of noise on the forums about it helping to get the all-important BFP (Big Fat Positive) during IVF treatment,  that and acupuncture.  I couldn’t wrap my head around acupuncture which seemed like a silly way to go as I am already sticking too many needles in myself each day, and also that seemed too way-out and Chinese / Voo-doo for my liking.  They don’t believe in the same God I do, so this Chinese medicine thing – although widely propagated as a miracle cure to infertility – is out for me, but reflexology seems much tamer. So long as the reflexologist is a Christian it should be fine – they won’t be practicing the spiritual side of things will they?  It’s just a healing massage technique right?

Instead of doing too much factual research I chatted to friends and family who have had it / done it / are in the medical field.  I didn’t get a bad vibe on it from any of them so I went ahead and booked my first appointment.  I arrived still  a bit wary and asked lots of questions.  The chart on the wall demarcated areas of the feet associated with organs of the body and had all sorts of fire, water, earth, ying, yang stuff on it.  In the corner of the room there was a plastic anatomically correct model of a man with lines down him, this I was told were the meridians that the energy flowed through and that blockages in the energy would cause an imbalance which causes feelings of un-wellness, anxiety or emotional distress. There was a definite feel for me that this was an alternative therapy… alternative to western medicine.  While in the room I prayed against any consequence of the using this alternative therapy and continued with the treatment.  Thinking back now that’s like standing in front of an oncoming train and praying that God would protect you from the consequences – sometimes the stuff I pray for is just so illogical.

The therapist told me that she had also struggled to fall pregnant, and then someone suggested that she try reflexology and she was pregnant in 2 months.  Once she had the baby she then learned reflexology herself and started practicing.  Hah – so this does work, awesome I am in the right place for a miracle – God will do a miracle through reflexology right?

I asked God to give me a clear sign if this wasn’t of Him – of course I didn’t look too hard – I wanted to continue with the treatment especially seeing as it has worked for others I know, and I was enjoying it.  I avoided my bible a bit, in church I was hoping to be massively convicted during worship – I wasn’t, I was hoping that someone would come up with a prophetic word against it, they didn’t.  So I carried on seeing the reflexologist.

I attend a fertility support group that is run by a lady who goes to Rosebank Union Church and the group met towards the end of April.  A pastor, John N, came to pray for those who wanted prayer.  This man prayed for one of the ladies in the group who had been on the fertility road for 7 years, and she fell pregnant naturally the very next month. 

I was really hoping for a “glory moment” with the “man of power for the hour”.  I should totally know better.  Christianity is not about hype or emotion. Jesus never whipped the crowds into a frenzy or manipulated people based on their emotions.  John gave me a warning – he said  “the number one cause of infertility is witchcraft.”  Okay Whoa, hold on a minute buddy – are you telling me I am mixed up in some funky stuff?  I am a bible believing, church attending, community serving Christian here – I am not involved in coven meetings and magic - I was offended, and I wanted to write this guy off as a kook – but he went on to say that this is not the type of witchcraft he was referring to.  Its much more subtle, part truth, part poison - you don’t even know it’s happening.  “Its like a spider web of small threads that eventually covers you and cuts your intimate personal relationship with God.  Feel disconnected from God? Feel like there is no connection in worship?  Feel like the word is dead when it used to be alive?“ I could kind of tick all those boxes. “There is a spiritual blockage and its caused by a spirit, other than the Holy Spirit interfering”. Examining this honstly, post moretem, I could identify with some of what he had said -  if this is the number one cause of infertility then let me tell you I would like to be rid of whatever it is, big or small in my life, so I am willing to overlook the offense and check my life out.  John just prayed a simple prayer over me, that all the ties of witchcraft would be cut loose and bind me no longer.

Of course the first thing that popped into my mind while mulling over all this on the drive home was the reflexology. Have I gotten mixed up in something contrary to the Truth I believe? At what cost? I needed to do some real research – not just popular opinion but some real checking and digging and heart searching. 

So here is what I found – I have quoted the website references at the end of the article so that you can have a read for yourself.  This next section is only the facts from sources that I would say are reputable, and any of my additional comments or thoughts have been added in in brackets and italics. Let me just say this – I am not condemning anyone who has been for reflexology or practices reflexology.  I am stating why I don’t think reflexology is right for me given what I believe.  Every action has consequences – good or bad, and I think we should know the facts about the stuff which could have consequences.

What is Reflexology

Reflexology is a holistic therapy which aims to benefit the body, mind, emotions and spirit. It is said to work by unblocking 'energy channels' running up from the foot to an organ affected by malfunction or disease, allowing the free flow of 'life energy' necessary for healing and good health.

The common denominator in most theories of reflexology is the concept of some form of 'life energy' (ch'i, prana, vital force etc) and some therapists believe that the channels of this energy connect with the chakras or energy centres prominent in the Hindu philosophy of yoga.

Reflexology originated at about the same time that Acupuncture was enjoying a period of prosperity in China. As in the case of Acupressure and Acupuncture, Reflexology sprung up from the breeding ground of Taoism and Buddhism.  Taoism is a pantheistic religion, this means a non-belief in the person of God.  Taoist schools traditionally feature reverence for Laozi, immortals or ancestors, along with a variety of divination and exorcism rituals, and practices for achieving ecstasy, longevity or immortality.

 (I do not like the sound of that… )
 
The Tao is “The Way”  and the Tao radiates cosmic (universal) vibrations which filter onto everything and everyone and which infiltrate and preserve every-thing. Tao radiates a spirit known as "chi" or "ki" (energy vibrations). They say Tao is not confined to heaven but is in everything and this 'god' and his spirit, the chi energy, permeate everything, as well as the human body.

(The only spirit I want permeating my everything is the Holy Spirit)

The chi energy moves in 12 meridians. Six meridians run down the left side of the body and six on the right, just beneath the surface of the skin. Six meridians are YIN (passive, female, dark) and six are YANG (energy, male, light). Each of the YIN meridians is coupled to YANG channel in the hand or the foot.
Sickness is caused by a disturbance or blockage in these channels. This results in an organ receiving too little YIN or YANG. Tao's preserving strength, his spirit, namely chi energy, cannot reach a particular organ as a result of the blockage. Remove this blockage and the balance between the YIN and YANG is restored.

Paintings on the foot of the Hindu god Vishnu, possibly representing reflex points, suggest that the technique may have been practised in ancient India. Others have noted inscriptions on the foot of a reclining Buddha in Burma; these may represent energy centres but appear as rows of regular squares quite unlike today's reflexology charts

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Reflexology + My Faith

I am not loving what I have found.  This kind of throws out a whole lot of things that I thought were ok.  From a Christian perspective, realise that many therapies, including reflexology, have their basis in the concept of life force, vital energy, ch'i (yin and yang), prana or one of the other terms used for this 'energy' at the heart of eastern healing arts and therefore is inextricably reliant upon a non-Christian belief system.

Colossians 2:8 See to it that no one makes prey of you by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the universe, and not according to Christ.

Whilst some therapists might wish to disassociate themselves, it is difficult to see what is left of the therapy once you have removed its spiritual essence – all you have now is a therapeutic foot massage.  It seems unlikely that there could be any harm in a therapeutic foot massage except that:

1. The diagnosis of blocked energy channels by means of palpation and the identification of painful reflex areas or sense of grittiness, are said to be due to the presence of crystals (probably calcium) in the reflex points. There does not, however, appear to be any scientific evidence for this. Could it, therefore, be divination rather than diagnosis? 
2. The concept of meridians in traditional Chinese acupuncture was formulated several thousand years ago, before anatomical dissection was practised. Again, there is no anatomical or histological evidence for these and the pattern by no means conforms to anatomical structures now revealed by dissection.  So where did they come from?
3. Alternative therapists widely promote the holistic approach towards healing including body, mind and spirit. Christians would agree that this certainly is the ideal but if spiritual healing is involved it is essential to ask the question, 'by which spirit?' - only the Holy Spirit being acceptable to Christians.
4. In order to make these healing practices acceptable to Christians and Westerners, the Chi or Prana powers are described as magnetic rays or cosmic energy. These innocent sounding terms describe a wolf parading in sheep's clothing. The 'spirit' involved in Reflexology, although given attractive sounding names eg. "energy emanations from the earth", "magnetic rays", "energy", is a demonic spirit (cringe). Those who consult reflexologists allow this Taoistic spirit to influence their lives. The Bible opposes this in Ephesians 4:27: “Do not give the Devil a foothold”

I have to say that the last one made me cringe but the first one clinched it for me. When I read that I could understand how it could be that I have allowed a subtle yet not less dangerous thread of witchcraft into my life.  Demonic, Divination, Witchcraft are all strong supernatural words. Am I not going off the deep end a little but here?  They have horrible scary connotations.  I don’t like this stuff.  I don’t want to read it / hear it / believe it.  I want to believe that everything is nice and useful for good.  I also want to believe that God is going to come through for me and answer my prayer, the miracle of the positive pregnancy test at the end of the month.

 But let’s go back to what I said right at be beginning.

I believe in Heaven and Hell.  If there are Miracles which proclaim Gods Glory,  then there must also be forces that want to stop the miracle with evil so that God doesn’t get the Glory. If there are angels that protect us there must also be the opposite of angels,forces, that want to harm us.  Some people, depending how crazy /charismatic they are may call them Devils, Demons and Witchcraft.  Are they maybe not just brave and bold enough to be calling a spade a spade? Am I a sugar-coat-it Christian.  Maybe.  Not today – not with this!

For me there are too many “unknowns”.  I can’t be comfortable that Reflexolgy is based on anything other than unbiblical beliefs.  It just doesn’t stand up against the bible the Word of God, the word I trust as the Truth.

Deuteronomy 18:10 – 12 Let no one be found among you who ... practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, 11 or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. ¹² Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord; because of these same detestable practices the Lord your God will drive out those nations before you.

EEEEK!!! There were some harsh consequences for the Israelites who practiced this stuff. Luckily we can come to Jesus and ask him for forgiveness, but there still may be consequence. The Israelites didnt have that option when Deut was written! What would my consequence be if I continued knowing what I now know.  I cant - I cannot risk it.  What if the sins of the father are passed on to the child (Exodus 20:5) What if my child is affected in some way and bears the consequence of this.  At what cost am I prepared to get pregnant?

·         http://www.cmf.org.uk/publications/content.asp?context=article&id=247

·         http://www.jivannadi.org.za/Reflexology.htm

·         http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taoism

·         The Bible

If you are concerned and want prayer like I had, please contact me and I will arrange something

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