We went back to see Dr V last week to have the stitches out and look at the pictures taken by the camera during the op. Stage 2 Endometriosis is the diagnosis - the laparoscopy was the cure, and cutting down on my stress significantly is the prescribed treatment to keep it away.
What is stressfull in my life... Ive been working 2 jobs, one of which I am not being paid for which makes affording all of this fertility treatment near impossible. The worry that we will have to dig into precious savings to afford the next steps whatever they may be.
My biggest source of stress is financial, if I have to sum it up in a word.
So we have eliminated the source of the stress - I have resigned from the missions organisation that I was working with, my last day being the 30 June. No more the missionary, back to to my old company, who kept me on part time after I resigned, hat in hand to ask for my full time position back.
No questions asked, and after a little negotiation, they accepted me back. Praise the Lord for these two men, who allowed me the opportunity to try something out, and are allowing me the to come back to full time employment.
My heart is sad that I wont be a part of the mission organisations next set of adventures. I want to say that I feel like I have let them down, but I don't think I am. I had a word, that this would be for a season - boy was it a short one. If all I achieved was giving the Directors the freedom to go overseas and do what needed doing then I am glad that I could add that value. I was perfectly positioned, in a job that would give me the freedom and the flexibility to take a 5 month gap, with the space in my home to house the office, with the managerial skills and the wherewithal to do what needed doing at the time. God used me in it. I dont know that I would have been open to being used in this way had I known the specifics up front.
I just hope He was finished with what he was doing and I am not bailing on an unfinished work...
Tuesday 14 June 2011
Thursday 2 June 2011
Our God Is In Control
Today I had the Laparoscopy that confirmed Stage 2 Endometriosis, but also zapped the Endometriosis.
Ordinarily the next step would for me to go back the Doctor for a day 12 scan and a day 14 scan and PC test again to see if the mucus is friendly to the swimmers.
If my cycle is to be relied upon this month, Day 12 falls on the Friday 17 June - the day after we have left for Zimbabwe and are in the throws of training 60 Entrepreneurs in Beitbridge, and Day 14 will be the Sunday we travel back... So no scans and tests for us this month (I can hear the bank balance breathe an audible sigh of relief).
Some of me wants to bargain with God and say "See Lord? I am putting myself in this situation that I find increadably stressfull (I hate the Beitbridge border post) I will be running the team, and we are going to do your work - So you best honour that Lord!" I can be such a bossy boots. But this is not in my control. And God certainly has not answered me on that one.
I am listening to a CD by Stephen Curtis Chapman, entitled Beauty Will Rise, at the moment, that has been so real for me. He wrote the music in the two years after his 5 year old daughter was killed - a freak accident where his teenage son rode over her as he was pulling into in the driveway. This family had some serious healing to do!
The theme of the songs are about just relying on Gods Faithfulness, still bringing him Glory in the midst of trials, realising that sometimes all we can do is wait. One of the songs, called Holy, has really ministered straight to my heart...
"This is not how is could be, this is not how it should be, but this is how it is, Our God is in control, and I sing Holy Holy Holy is the Lord"
Y
Ordinarily the next step would for me to go back the Doctor for a day 12 scan and a day 14 scan and PC test again to see if the mucus is friendly to the swimmers.
If my cycle is to be relied upon this month, Day 12 falls on the Friday 17 June - the day after we have left for Zimbabwe and are in the throws of training 60 Entrepreneurs in Beitbridge, and Day 14 will be the Sunday we travel back... So no scans and tests for us this month (I can hear the bank balance breathe an audible sigh of relief).
Some of me wants to bargain with God and say "See Lord? I am putting myself in this situation that I find increadably stressfull (I hate the Beitbridge border post) I will be running the team, and we are going to do your work - So you best honour that Lord!" I can be such a bossy boots. But this is not in my control. And God certainly has not answered me on that one.
I am listening to a CD by Stephen Curtis Chapman, entitled Beauty Will Rise, at the moment, that has been so real for me. He wrote the music in the two years after his 5 year old daughter was killed - a freak accident where his teenage son rode over her as he was pulling into in the driveway. This family had some serious healing to do!
The theme of the songs are about just relying on Gods Faithfulness, still bringing him Glory in the midst of trials, realising that sometimes all we can do is wait. One of the songs, called Holy, has really ministered straight to my heart...
"This is not how is could be, this is not how it should be, but this is how it is, Our God is in control, and I sing Holy Holy Holy is the Lord"
Y
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